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PHOBIA LIBRARY

Read up on fear, panic and phobia to get a general overview of phobias and trauma and fear management. Learn mindfulness based self care principles and exercises for managing phobias from my books on trauma and self care.
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​Fear | Function | Thought | Treatment | Coping
For Help See: Fear in the Brain | Fear Dictionary
THE LIBRARY TOPIC HOME PAGES
​​Introduction to Trauma, Fear and Phobia
Part 1: ​Defining Fear and the Fear Response
Part 2: Emotional & Cognitive Functions of Fear
Part 3: Maladaptive Thought Processing
​Part 4: Professional Therapy & Mindful Self Care
​THE PHOBIA COLLECTION DOWNLOADS
​Browse Collection of Phobias by Topic
Download Collection of Phobias
Download Dictionary of Fear and Phobia
Download Self Care Guides for Coping

PART FOUR - TREATMENT​
​​TREATMENT OPTIONS
MINDFUL SELF CARE
​ Learn the cognitive treatment options for self care centered in mindfulness, common defense mechanisms, boundaries, stressors, and strategies for coping with anxiety and panic for fear
TREATMENT | THERAPY | SELF CARE

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DOWNLOAD THE SELF CARE GLOSSARY

TREATMENT DIRECTORY

>> Treatment Home Page - Disclaimer
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​PROFESSIONAL THERAPY OPTIONS
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Search for Medical Professionals (external)
Therapy Options ​INCORPORATING SELF CARE OPTIONS
​SELF CARE: Defining What It Really Means
Core Elements of Mindfulness ​Mindful Coping Strategies ​Self Care is not a substitute for professional therapy and treatment. Author is not a medical professional.

​RELATED SELF CARE GUIDES BY KAIROS
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​ALL CONTENT PROVIDED BY MY BOOKS ON MINDFUL SELF CARE FOR TRAUMA AND FEAR
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SELF CARE

DEFENSE STRATEGIES

The beauty of self care centered in the meditative practice of mindfulness. Learn mindful coping mechanisms for managing anxiety, panic and fear.
Mindfulness practice is self care for the health and well-being for the mind, body and soul.
​
PRACTICE CHANGES BRAIN STRUCTURE
MINDFULNESS PROMOTES HEALING
​WEBSITE DISCLAIMER
Author is not a Medical Professional.
​Find a Medical Professional
Self Care is not a Substitute for Therapy
it works in collaboration with professional treatment

MINDFUL SELF CARE DOWNLOADS

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THE MINDFULNESS GLOSSARY
Promote a Mindful Approach to Self Care
Guide to Learn the Principles of Mindfulness
​ Companion Glossary of Mindfulness Terms
Collection of Mindfulness Poetry by Kairos​
Understanding and Coping With Stress

STRATEGIES FOR ANXIETY

VIEW PROFESSIONAL THERAPY OPTIONS
VIEW THE COMPONENTS OF MINDFULNESS

​Calming panic and anxiety can be done by refocusing your attention. Here are some strategies for defense.

4 STEP EXPANSION


​FOUR STEP EXPANSION FOR FEELINGS
In the book, “The Happiness Trap,” Russ Harris offers a four-step formula for working through your feelings. The model he proposes involves pausing and shifting your awareness to an observation and then to attention of both your feelings and what’s happening physiologically in your body. This process activates different integrated neural networks in your brain and calms down the emotional ones. Harris calls his model the “Four Steps of Expansion.”

When practicing expansion, you’re not trying to change or remove a feeling. You are trying to accept it and stop the resistance you have against it. The goal is to make peace with it. This is processing and this is where the principles of mindfulness come in. Mindfulness teaches you to accept feelings without judgement. You may not like the feeling or want it, but through expansion and mindfulness you accept it and process it so that you can let it go.

STEP ONE: OBSERVE
Observe the sensations in your body. Take a few seconds and scan yourself head to toe. You may notice uncomfortable sensations.
  • Determine which one bothers you the most. For example, it may be a lump in your throat, a knot in your stomach, or a tightness in your chest. If your entire body feels uncomfortable, then just pick one area that bothers you the most.
  • Focus your attention on that one sensation. Observe it curiously or scientifically.

STEP TWO: BREATHE
Breathe into and around that sensation. Remember your mindfulness training and breathe mindfully. Begin with a few deep, slow breaths, making sure you fully empty your lungs as you breathe out. Slow, deep breathing activates the vagus nerve and calms your brain and body. It won’t get rid of your feelings, but it will calm you. It will hold steady until the emotion passes. Breathe slowly and deeply and then imagine your breath flowing into and around the uncomfortable sensation in your body.

STEP THREE: CREATE A SPACE
As your breath flows into and around the feeling, you are preparing your body by opening and creating a space around the sensation. You are giving it plenty of room to move and, if needed the space will expand.

STEP FOUR: ALLOW
Allow the sensation to just be there, even if you don’t want it or just plain hate it. Let it be. There is no fight, you don’t have to make it go away, or do anything with it at all. Just let it be. Allow it but don’t give it any more of your attention than necessary. Mindfully observe the feelings and recognize and accept that it is not a FACT. Recognize that if it is not a fact then it is not true, and it is no longer relevant.

With practice of this mindful expansion technique, either your feelings will change, or they won’t. Which is ok either way. This practice is not about changing your feelings and, like any mindfulness practice, it’s about awareness and acceptance. Once you do this, they will become less troubling and painful for you. And with their diminished influence you can guide your new behavior and your life consciously towards your positive and happy goals.

Your mind is powerful. So powerful that you can invent, create, experience, and destroy things with your thoughts alone. Phobias are not real. They are stories we tell ourselves. You don’t need to control your thoughts. You need to stop them from telling you stories.

THOUGHT STRATEGIES


​Talk yourself out of it
Take notice of when you’re stuck in your head. You can tame your overthinking habit if you start taking a grip on your self-talk — that inner voice that provides a running monologue throughout the day and even into the night. You can do this with mind.
Generate other interpretations of the situation to make your negative thoughts less believable. This is called cognitive restructuring.

Be aware of reality
Realize that whatever you fear most is not happening at present. Allow your thoughts to emerge free from judgment. Let them flow like a river while you sit quietly.

Don't think of what can go wrong, but what can go right.
Overthinking is caused by a single emotion: fear. When you focus on all the negative things that might happen, it's easy to become paralyzed. Next time you sense fear then stop and visualize all the things that can go right and keep those thoughts present in your mind.

Distract yourself
Sometimes it's helpful to have a way to distract yourself with happy, positive, healthy thoughts. Things like mediation, dancing, exercise, learning an instrument, or hobbies can distance you from the issues enough to shut down the overanalysis.

Put things into perspective.
It's always easy to escalate things into bigger and more negative thoughts. If you are “making a mountain out of a molehill,” ask yourself how much will it matter in five years? Or for that matter, next month? It’s a simple question that changes the time frame, and that can help shut down overthinking.

Stop waiting for perfection.
This is a big one. Being ambitious is great but aiming for perfection is unrealistic, impractical, and debilitating. The moment you think "This needs to be perfect" is the moment you need to remind yourself that perfection is never attainable.

Put a timer on it.
Give yourself a boundary. Set a timer for five minutes and give yourself that time to think, worry, and analyze. Once the timer goes off, spend 10 minutes with a pen and paper, writing down all the things that are stressing you. When the 10 minutes is up, throw the paper out, mindfully let it go and move on.

STRESS RELIEF


​For Immediate Stress Relief
The stress response unfolds quickly so you need to be an “early responder” to temper your initial response before it takes on a life of its own.

Once stress strikes, the more tools, strategies, stress busters, and stress management techniques you have for coping, the more effectively you’ll be able to manage your stress.

The more proactive you are in noticing your thoughts, judgments, and bodily signs at the onset of stress, the more successful you’ll be in responding to stress.

Read Your Body
If you learn to read your body’s signs and become more attuned to your early physical cues, you can use them as your signal to interrupt the stress response.

Body Sensations
Check for bodily sensations such as heart pounding, shortness of breath, feeling hot, muscles tensing up, queasy stomach, clenched teeth, or sweaty palms. Things start to speed up, so notice if you’re breathing fast, or if you’re starting to talk faster, or shove food down. These are your telltale signs sending the message to intercept the stress response.

TRY:

Take Three to Four Deep Breaths
This is the most immediate way to reduce stress because it shuts down your body’s stress response in just six to 10 seconds.

Place Your Hand on Your Heart
Place your hand on your heart and breathe deeply while remembering a time when you felt completely accepted by someone. Just the thought is enough to send the “love hormone” – oxytocin – surging through your body to return you to a calm state.

Apply Pressure Between Your Thumb and Forefinger
Apply pressure between your thumb and forefinger and hold for 30 seconds. This spot is close to bundles of nerves and pressing on them relaxes the nervous system which ramps up when you’re stressed.

Exercise Control
Take some action, no matter how small, where you can exercise some control. Taking action on your own behalf shifts you out of a sense of helplessness to regain a sense of control which reduces stress.

Rub Your Hands Together
Rub your hands together briskly to open up the blood vessels. Because stress pulls the blood out of your toes and fingers and sends it to your internal organs, this stress buster will jar your brain out of its stress response.

Calm Yourself With Self-Talk
Repeat calming self-talk or affirmations such as: “This too will pass,” “I can stay calm,” or “I can handle this.” This soothing talk will keep your mind from revving up with habitual negative chatter.

Visualize Laughter
Visualize a time when you were laughing with a good friend or family member. You’ll break into a genuine smile which lowers your heart rate and leads to quicker recovery from your stressful experience.

Distance Yourself
Use “time-distancing” by asking yourself how you’ll feel about this a year from now. Keep moving the timeframe to a month, a week, a day, an hour. This is an instant stress buster because it helps you put things in perspective.

Chew Gum
Pop a piece of gum into your mouth. Chewing loosens jaw muscles which hold stress so it’s actually a highly effective stress management technique.

Exaggerate
Take the stressful event to a ludicrous point – “This guy is pudding me off i hope he gets abducted by aliens and gets and anal probe.” As you realize you’re fueling your stress by blowing the situation way out of proportion, your anxiety will dissipate.

VISUALIZATION


​This exercise will help you open your mind to receive creative thoughts and ideas. It will also work to help you solve problems. The focus is on balance and harmony, the contrast of the color white and the vibrancy of a rainbow, and the sensations of wind touching your skin.

Set your alarm for the earliest morning hour when dawn is breaking over the horizon and the world still sleeps around you. Dress in loose clothing. Set yourself up in a chair or a lounge outside if you can. If you can’t sit outside, find a comfortable place inside near a window. You want to connect to the aura of the earth. Make yourself a cup of tea or another warm beverage. Keep the lights inside down so the morning sun can stream through your window and you can breathe in it’s light.

Sit or lay down.
Close your eyes.

Visualize a different window, this one adorned with sheer white curtain panels. Reach out and gently touch the fabric and feel the silky texture. Focus on the crisp color of white. Feel the light shining through the curtains. While you are visualizing, feel or imagine the warmth of the rising sun flowing through your real window to kiss your cheeks. Let the white sheers calm you and then introduce some wind. Watch the panels sway in the breeze. Imagine the crisp, clean air gently touching your skin.

Bring in the golden glow from the sun outside. Look for a prism of color streaming through. Focus on it. Find the reds and blues. Direct your full attention on their intensity compared to the filmy white of the sheers. See the stark contrast of colors against the white. As you gaze at it, imagine a kaleidoscope of colors from the prism as the light bounces off objects surrounding it. How does the sheer white feel? How about the colors? The hotness of the red? The velvet smooth touch of the blue? The turquoise of the sea? Do you see the rustic burnt oranges? The sweetest baby pink? The muted earthy browns? Reach out for the colors and watch them slip through your fingers. Which ones stain your skin? Is it a penetration of your skin or a light sprinkle? Imagine the rainbow being absorbed into your spirit. Breathe it in and make it one with your aura. Concentrate on the color that permeates and hold your focus on it. What do you think of when you look at it? Do you feel emotional? Does it remind you of a person or a place or a thing? What do you feel?

Breathe.
Inhale and then exhale.
Count your breaths if you need to center your focus.

Let the colors swirl through the air around you. Let the white reflect it’s shine on you. Now open your mind to the problems you face. Your aura guides you and the white light protects you. You are unrestrained. You can think freely. There are no judgements here. No barriers and no chains. Feel yourself float. Feel what you feel.

What questions have you asked?
What answers have you found?
What ideas have you formed?
What plans have you made?
What dreams will you follow?
What actions do you need to take?

Don’t let go of the light. Don’t let go of the color. Think your thoughts and feel your feelings. They are all a balance of creative energies within you. They are a part of you and will help guide you. They will always be with you.

​When you find yourself struggling in the days ahead, struggling in understanding, fixing, creating or being, go back to the curtain and stand in the light. Reach out again for the colors of your rainbow. Feel your tensions slip away. Be present. Be mindful. Be well.

This is mindfulness.

USE THE STUCK METHOD


When you are stuck on a thought or you are in a panic from fear use this technique.
  • S: Stop. Take a pause. Redirect your mind to your breath.
  • T: Tell. Tell yourself what emotion you are stuck on (anxiety, perhaps?) and allow yourself to actually feel that emotion.
  • U: Uncover. Make a list of the thoughts on your mind. Then, investigate the validity of them, one by one. Ask yourself: “Is this thought 100% true?”
  • C: Consider. Recognize what other viewpoints to your situation can you consider? (This is where you get unstuck from overthinking!)
  • K: OK. Hold yourself in self-compassion for having gotten stuck on overthinking in the first place. ​
REFRAME - REPLACE - REPHRASE - REDIRECT

THE FOUR Rs METHOD


REFRAME FEAR
Reframing is a cognitive technique used to help create a different way of looking at a idea by changing its meaning. Also referred to as cognitive reframing, it's a strategy used to look at ideas from a slightly different perspective.

The essential idea behind reframing is that a person's point-of-view depends on the frame it is viewed in. When the frame is shifted, the meaning changes and thinking and behavior often change along with it. Reframing involves changing our interpretation or perception of an idea. This type is the only one that is under a person's conscious control. For example, you can reframe a problem as an opportunity, a weakness as a strength, an impossibility as a distant possibility or a distant possibility as a near possibility.

Another way to understand the concept of reframing is to imagine looking through the frame of a camera lens. The picture seen through the lens can be changed to a view that is closer or further away. By slightly changing what is seen in the camera, the picture is both viewed and experienced differently.

​Whether you're afraid because you've failed in the past, or you're fearful of trying or overgeneralizing failure, remember that just because things did not work before, does not mean that it will now. Remember, every opportunity is a new chance.

REPLACE THE THOUGHT
Telling yourself to not to have a certain thought is not the way to not have the thought, You need to replace the thought. What if you were told to stop thinking about pink elephants? What are you going to think about? Pink elephants. If you don’t want to think about a pink elephant, conjure up an image of a purple horse. You’re not thinking about pink elephants now. Change the thought.

REPHRASE THE ISSUE
Ask yourself what’s the probability that what I’m scared about will actually happen? If the probability is low, what are more likely outcomes? If it’s a problem you keep ruminating about, rephrase the issue to reflect the positive outcome you’re looking for. Instead of dwelling on the thought “I’m stuck in my career,” tell yourself or write “I want a job where I feel more engaged.” Then make an action plan to expand your skills, network, and look for jobs.

REDIRECT ATTENTION
Recognize your brain is in overdrive and snap out of it. Distract yourself and redirect your attention to something else that requires focus. It takes practice, but with time, you will be able to easily recognize when you are worrying unnecessarily and choose to do something else. For example, redirect from “I can’t believe this happened” to “What can I do to prevent it from happening again?” Don’t get lost in thoughts about what you could have, would have, and should have done differently. Mental stress can seriously impact your quality of life.

CALMING THE CRAZY

Set a timer for 5 minutes. Posture is important, sit with your spine erect.
Notice and focus on your breath
  • Your mind will go crazy (It’s your ego - it doesn’t like this)
Notice and acknowledge your mind as it goes crazy
  • Accept the crazy
  • Return to the breath
Forgive the crazy
  • Be nice
  • Return to the breath
Let the crazy go
  • Feel it float away
  • Return to the breath
Exhale. Timer goes off. Move on with your day.

MAYBE
Maybe there were no wrong stops
along our journey in life.
Maybe everywhere we stopped was just
really meant to be.
Maybe our hearts were once shattered or we felt true heartbreak more than one time.
Maybe we cried alone in our struggle with our eyes darkened, always clouded by tears.
Maybe we were once broken, just lived day to day
Maybe the dull aching pain left scars burned
onto our hearts, and souls & our skin.
Maybe that even while broken we still forged ahead and made our way.
Maybe we fought the war bravely with each and every battle, with every last fight.
Maybe we kept rising each day with hope.
Maybe hope sustained us
made us ready and alert.
Maybe the pain and the struggle was the lesson. We learned it in the trenches
From each loss and every win…
we fell down but we got back up.
Maybe the strength that we needed was a fire that lay dormant in the darkness
Embers always flickered just waiting to be nurtured, to grow into flame.
Maybe the fire that raged was passion and fueled by our faith, our belief in ourselves.
Maybe passion brought on healing, knit the holes in our hearts, washed away the tears
Maybe once we cleared our eyes and see there was a message in front of us
Maybe it said it was time to let go.
Maybe we started to adapt, change & grow. Maybe slowly evolving into who
we are meant to be.
Maybe we were once broken and now we find we are whole.
Maybe life is now beautiful and a gift we gave to ourselves.
Maybe we live peacefully and gratefully for every new day, breath and each step.
Maybe now we smile.
Happy and enjoying life with the past now buried Seeing that the present is what matters
Maybe finally knowing now we are free.

Be strong. Be mindful. Be well.
​Mindfulness
Kai, 2021

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