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NAVIGATING
The World of Online Dating

See Also:
​Sex Terms You Didn’t Knew You Needed

​Online dating has its own unique challenges and it has risk. This glossary should help you understand what this landscape looks like.

Banksying - when you're going to break-up with someone and decide to plan an elaborate act far in advance. The breakup is calculated and perfectly timed out, rather than on a whim.

Benching - usually happens right before the coming of a DTR (define the relationship). It’s when a person puts someone they are dating on the sidelines instead of breaking up with them. They may or may not come back.

Bird Boxed - an online dating expression that describes being blind to just how bad your partner is. It can also refer to ignoring someone or pretending you don't see someone who is trying to get your attention.

Breadcrumbing - the act of leading someone on a trail with flirtatious messages but never following through with them.

Buzzerflies - the feeling you get when your phone buzzes and it could possibly be the special someone you’ve been waiting to hear from all day.

Caking - means flirting either on the phone or in person. The act of flirting with cake on it (not literally). Caking is when you’re extra sweet to someone you’re really interested in. You text them sweet nothings, and your attention is undivided. For example, "We caked all weekend, it was awesome."

Caspering - a variation of ghosting but doing it nicely by letting people down gently before you ghost them. It's a play on words from Casper the friendly ghost.

Catch and Release - similar to breadcrumbing. People who participate in all the steps of “catching” a date with someone but when it comes time to deliver, they “release” their prey and quickly retreat.

Catfish - slang for pursuing romantic online relationships using a fake identity. Like being deceived on social media by someone who professes their romantic feelings to the victim, but isn't really who they say they are.

Cohabidating - when two people are newly dating and move in together. Young couples do it for financial reasons. In other words, it's two people who would rather save money and live together than wait longer to see if the relationship works.

Cougar - the nickname for an older woman who has a relationship with a younger man. Whether it's dating a bunch of younger guys or marrying a younger man, the term cougar refers specifically to a sexy, independent woman and the cougar movement is considered a phenomenon of women's liberation.

Cuffing Season - people who are perfectly happy being single during the summer months suddenly decide to find a relationship when it gets cold. It’s more fun to stay in and cuddle than go out. When the snow comes people suddenly care about not being alone.

Curve - slang for rejecting someone romantically.

Cushioning - it’s when you're in a relationship with someone, but you still chat and flirt with other people on the side. It gives you a "cushion" of other options in case things don't work out with your current partner.

Deep-Like - to deep-like is when someone interested in you goes through your social media and likes posts so old that even you forgot about them.

Draculaing - it’s when people only hear from the people they are dating at night. The person only surfaces in the dead of night to hit you up with a 'you up?' text.

DTR - stands for “define the relationship.” This conversation takes place between you and someone you’re dating to decide if you’re just friends with benefits, officially in a relationship, or ready to break up.

Extra - over the top: When someone is trying too hard and simply over the top, you might refer to them as “extra.”

FWB (friends with benefits) - means friends who like to spend time together, aren’t officially in a relationship, and like to have casual sex here and there.

Facebook Official - when a romantic relationship has been - declared on your Facebook relationship status. You can do this by linking your account to your partner’s in the relationship status section of your Facebook profile.

Gaslighting - slang for abusive behavior, specifically when an abuser manipulates information to the point of making their victim question his or her sanity. It's a form of persistent manipulation that causes the victim to experience self-doubt and lose their own sense of identity and self-worth. Gaslighting can occur in personal relationships, at the work, and even over an entire society.

Gassed Up - refers to someone who is full of themselves.

Ghosting - when you’ve been engaging romantically online with someone but then they suddenly disappear and you never hear from them again.

Going Down In the DMs - when two people began flirting through direct messages on a social media platform like Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook.

Grandeing - it’s when a person is grateful for their past relationships and the things their former partners taught them through the relationship.

Haunting- when the person you broke up with keeps appearing all over your social media with the intentions of winning you back or staying in your life.

iPhony - online lingo for when someone constantly tells you they will text you to organize a date, but they never do.

Instagator - using Instagram to make a relationship public or to push it along further. The person who initiates contact or first publicizes a relationship via social media will do so by tagging, DMing, or posting photos of the two of you.

Intwituation/intwituated - slang terms used to describe a situation in which someone is infatuated with another Twitter user.

Kittenfish - it’s like catfish, but not as drastic. Kittenfishing is when someone deceives to make someone else like them better. Like on an online dating app, a person will take a few years off their age, use an older picture, or change their height and weight.

Layby - person who is still in a relationship but uses online dating apps to find a way out of their relationship without being caught single. They don’t want to risk being alone.

Netflix and Chill - Netflix and chill does not mean get together and watch a movie. It means get together, turn on Netflix (maybe), and get it on.

On Ice - when you decide to pause the pace of a relationship and chill out for minute. It's usually when you both decide to take a break.

On the Team - dating candidate squad. It’s advice for single people to have three strong dating candidates in rotation until you decide, or you both decide, to officially come off the market.

Peeped - look at something, often slyly, or to hint at something.

Romanceting - involves texting words and/or images, but instead of demanding sex, you express appreciation and admiration.

Shipping - wanting two people to date

Situationship - the new way of saying "it's complicated.” It’s when you're not in a committed relationship but you can’t exactly say you’re single either.

Sliding into My DMs- - you’re casually engaging on social media (Twitter) when suddenly you get a flirtatious direct message (DM) from a stranger. You can say they “slid into your DMs like” because they moved a romantic conversation from a public forum to yourprivate forum.

Slow Fade - the slow fade is slightly similar to benching or ghosting. When someone slowly fades a partner, they just dramatically reduce the amount of communications they send until they eventually disappear.

Smash - teen lingo for have sex.

Snack - slang for a very attractive person, usually a female.

Snap trap - tactic used to find out what your SO is up to online. NIf you’ve sent text messages and they don’t reply, you Snapchat them and if he or she opens it, then they fell for your snap trap. The same thing can happen on WhatsApp because you can see if they viewed your message.

SO stalemate (Significant Other Stalemate) - in a relationship, it's when neither party will start the DTD (define-the-relationship) conversation, leading to no relationship progress whatsoever.

Stan - a combination of stalker and fan

Stashing - is when you date someone and don’t tell anyone about them. It's like having a guilty secret. For example, if you've been dating for a while but none of his friends or family know you exist then you've been hidden away from the inner circle and stashed.

TC - Twitter crush

Textrovert - a play on the terms "introvert" and "extrovert" it refers to someone who feels an increased sense of bravery while texting, as opposed to communicating in person. It can also refer to someone who will only say what they really feel over text messages.

Thirsty - it refers to when you’re craving something, usually sex, but also things like more Instagram followers, or a new car. It’s not a beverage. It can also be used in a self-deprecating manner. If you want it so much that you’re thirsty, it might be time to calm down.

Three-dot - disappearing act...: It's the act of starting to type a text message on your smartphone and then stopping. It causes the three dots in your conversation to keep vanishing and popping up in a torturous cycle.

Throning - similar to a trophy bride, or a trophy SO, it's when a person dates someone specifically to elevate his or her own social status, wealth or reputation.

To Deep-Like - when someone who is interested in you goes through your social media and likes posts that are so old that even you forgot about them.

You-Turn - slang for someone who goes from one extreme relationship to the next in the blink of an eye. It's like that couple who are crazy in love one day, but then changing their status to "single" two weeks later.

Vacationship - a long distance relationship in which the couple only gets together for vacations.

Vulturing - when you know a relationship is about to explode and you can finally have a chance to be the shoulder to cry on for your longtime crush. It's when people are circling around a dying relationship, waiting to swoop in and be the next one.

Zombie-ing - when someone who has ghosted you starts trying to lure you back in. It’s like a ghost coming back from the dead.
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