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THEY SHAPE US. THEY DO NOT DEFINE US.
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FEATURE DIRECTORY
THE STORY OF SOULMATES - Download
​ASSOCIATED BOOK - SECRETS OF THE HEART
This feature is presented as an extract from my guide Secrets of the Heart. This free book helps you to understand attraction, lust, infatuation, sex, love and eternal love from an academic perspective across various fields of study like philosophy, science, mythology, psychology, evolution, religion, literature and more.
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SECRETS OF THE HEART

The Ties That Bind
​Two Souls

The information you need to decide for yourself

DEFINING THE CONCEPT OF SOULMATES
Soulmates by definition are subjective. There will be differences depending on who you ask. However, soulmates by definition is a two people with a deep connection. Wikipedia sums it up the best.

The soulmate refers to the implication of an exclusive bond that poets say is forever.​ It commonly holds the connotation of being the strongest bond with another person that one can achieve. It is commonly accepted that one will feel 'complete' once they have found their soulmate, as it is partially in the perceived definition that two souls are meant to unite.(Wikipedia)

DICTIONARY DEFINITIONS
  • A person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament or a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs. (Webster)
  • ​A soulmate is someone with whom you share a close friendship and deep personal understanding.

RELATIONSHIP EXPERTS
Relationship experts stress reality.
  • ​A soulmate relationship is one where you connect easily and instantly. But it doesn’t mean the relationship comes without effort.
  • The soulmate symbol creates hope and speaks to a desire to be loved, seen, heard, understood and to feel worthy. And even more so, a soulmate is the hope that we will be loved, seen, heard, understood and worthy, despite our flaws.
  • Soulmates are people that are meant to be together, in spite of the obstacles or adversity they may face.

FYI: The term "soulmate" first appeared in the English language in a letter by the poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge who wrote in a letter, “To be happy in Married Life . . . you must have a Soulmate.” Subjective notion. You do not have to define a soulmate to live a happy married life.

​These terms representing soulmates as previously stated are fundamentally subjective and that allows you to choose what you want to believe. The only fact is that numbers are infinite. Mythology gives you a plethora of gods and their ideals to believe in. Religion gives you a God to believe in. They both use storytelling. Myths require literary suspension of disbelief and religion requires faith. Science comes the closest to proving love through the emotional chemicals in the brain (namely oxytocin). However, chemicals can change over time so love can fade or be extinguished. Measuring chemicals is not a method for us to determine if our love is real. Psychology helps us to solidify love by suggesting that a bond lasts from commitment, loyalty, motivation and drive.

All of these schools of thought ponders one question in order to prove the existence of soulmates. That question asks if there is life after death. None of these concepts can answer that question with any kind proof. There is only one thought left to consider and it's a very simple concept. We all have the power of free will and the right to personal choice and beliefs. You decide what love means, if soulmates exist and if you believe they do, have you met yours? The concept, the origin, the meaning of the soulmate bond is all subjective and it’s your feelings that tell you if it’s real and it’s faith that says if it is forever.

CULTURAL THEORIES ON SOULMATES

SPLIT SOUL THEORY
In the Book of the Dead, circa 2000BC, the concept known as the “split soul theory” was derived from the Heliopolis creation myth and the model of two gods, Shu and Tefnut, and their god souls which derive from one god, Atum, and his one god soul.

​Plato says that “ The idea is that the soul was “split-apart” and separated from each other– and, since that time, the two halves have been forever searching for one another in order to join together and regain their sense of original created wholeness.”

Wallis Budge further clarifies the concept in 1904 as: “From the Book of the Dead we learn that Shu and Tefnut were supposed to possess but one soul between them, but that the two halves of it were identified with the soul of Osiris and the soul of Ra, which together formed the great double soul which dwelt in Tattu.”

​The implications of this theory are seen in Christianity. God created Eve from the rib of Adam so theoretically every man is looking for the woman created from his rib and every woman is looking for the man whose rib she was created from. Religious beliefs aside, this ideaology shares the same idea.

THE GREEK PERSPECTIVE
In 600BC, Greek philosophers, including Solon, Thales, and Plato all visited the college at Heliopolis. Plato, while studying there, learned the soul-splitting origin of gods and humans theory.

Plato penned the modern version of soul mate theory, which the supreme god Atum at first became Atum-Ra, then Amen-Ra in the New Kingdom, and then Zeus, or Amen-Zeus. Alexander the Great (332BC) later defined it as the “split form of one original human into two humans matching souls.” Later defined in Plato’s Symposium, Aristophanes tells Socrates that in Greek mythology human beings used to have four arms, four legs, and two faces and they were happy and complete. Fearing their power Zeus, King of the Gods, split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. It was further written:

“ ...the intense yearning which lovers have toward each other does not appear to be the desire for sexual intercourse, but for something else which the soul of each desires and cannot tell, and of which he or she has only a dark and doubtful presentiment….”

In the split human myth of Aristophanes, humans supposedly had neither love for one another nor piety toward the heavenly powers. They were guilty of “original sin,” and once they sinned, became human beings who were faced with a characteristic moral choice: either achieve wholeness through love or renew insolence toward the gods and run the risk of being diminished further. This concept transformed in the Book of Genesis as the story of Adam and Eve.

Apollo, God of music, truth and prophecy, healing, and light, could not bear to see them like this, so to ease their pain, he sewed them up, reconstituted their body forms and just left the navel as the only reminder of their original form. So, humans went from double face and double sex creatures with eight limbs, to single faced ones of a single sex, with two arms and two legs.

And they forever longed for their soul and physical other half.

Their physical nature would feel a burning desire to be completed with the physical nature of the other sex, and their soul alike would yearn for their soul’s other half be complete, their soulmate. And according to the myth, when these two halves find each other, there will be a silent understanding of one another, they will feel joined and exist with each other in unison and will know no greater joy than that.

EGYPTIAN CLAY CREATION
In the Egyptian clay creation myth defining the origin of humans, the god Khnum shapes two humans from a ball of clay, then the goddess Hathor imparts life, soul (ba), and spirit (ka) into their composition via the power of the ankh.
The ankh is an ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic symbol that was most commonly used in writing and in Egyptian art to represent the word for "life" and, by extension, as a symbol of life itself. Many scholars believe the sign is a knot formed of a flexible material such as cloth or reeds, and early versions of the sign show the lower bar of the ankh as two separate lengths of flexible material that seem to correspond to the two ends of the knot.

In Egyptian belief, life is a force that circulates throughout the world. Individuals are manifestations of this force and are fundamentally tied to it. Life came into existence at the creation of the world. Cyclical events like the rising and setting of the sun were thought of as reenactments of the original events of creation that maintained and renewed life in the cosmos.
THE RED THREAD OF FATE
The Red Thread of Fate is an East Asian belief originating from Chinese mythology. It is commonly thought of as an invisible red cord around the finger of those that are destined to meet one another in a certain situation as they are "their true love". According to Chinese legend, the deity in charge of "the red thread" is believed to be Yuè Xià Lǎorén (月下老人), the ancient lunar matchmaker god, who is in charge of marriages.

In the original Chinese myth, it's tied around both partners' ankles, while in Japanese it's bound from a male's thumb to a female's little finger, and in Korean, the red thread is thought to be tied around the little finger of both partners. Although in modern times it's common across all three cultures to depict the thread being tied around the fingers, often the little finger.
The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break. This concept can be powerful but as an invisible symbol, it requires faith and belief to ensure it is strong. If there is no faith then the concept holds no weight.

​A CHEMICAL AFFINITY
In 1841, American philosopher, Ralph Emerson, describes in his essay on friendship that the nature of friendship is a chemical affinity. He wrote:

“Conversation is the practice and consummation of friendship and great conversation requires an absolute running together of two souls into one, yet it is
affinity that determines which two shall converse.”

The term 'soul’ referenced is the Ra-theology based term for what was deemed in 19th century logic, as "moral movement" described and quantified by the "moral symbols", in modern physical science. Vyacheslav Ivanov described it in a 1900 message of Goethe’s Elective Affinities. He wrote “true love is a chemical affinity of human monads; they are elementally attracted to one another by the invincible necessity of a law of nature. In the spiritual and physical make-up of those predestined by nature to be joined, a series of inherent correspondences is found.”

Power of Symbolism


​DEFINING SYMBOLISM
Symbols are a means of complex communication that often can have multiple levels of meaning. Symbols are the basis of all human understanding and serve as vehicles of conception for all human knowledge. Symbols facilitate understanding of the world in which we live, thus serving as the grounds upon which we make judgments. In this way, people use symbols not only to make sense of the world around them, but also to identify and cooperate in society through constitutive rhetoric.

​The word symbol derives from the Greek σύμβολον symbolon, meaning "token, watchword" from σύν syn "together" and βάλλω bállō " "I throw, put." The sense evolution in Greek is from "throwing things together" to "contrasting" to "comparing" to "token used in comparisons to determine if something is genuine." Hence, "outward sign" of something. The meaning "something which stands for something else" was first recorded in 1590, in Edmund Spenser's Faerie Queene. (Wikipedia)

​SYMBOLISM IN THIS STORY
Symbols are commonly used to create some kind of tangible or invisible representation of love of a bond. At the core is the belief in the heart being a powerful illusion of love despite nothing can be used scientifically to suggest any connection between two vital organs. In religious symbolism there is the soul. The belief of a connection between two invisible spirits or the essences of life - this is used heavily in religious connections because the soul has the hands of God empowering it . And in tangible symbolism, the wedding ring signifies a connection. This differs from the heart and soul in that a ring can be unemotionally and unceremoniously removed to end the connection. The ring is physically or figuratively on or it’s off and interpretation is subjective. For example, a fight could lead to a ring taken off. This may or may not be true but is a dramatic effect. Rings can either symbolize a soulmate connection or a legal marriage which is not necessarily an indicator of love or a soulmate connection. The invisible symbols within the body, however, have heavier psychological or emotional attachment and their “split” can be damaging to the brain. This attachment is so powerful it can lead to a broken heart which manifests in the brain as depression or anxiety.

In any one of these these cases, however, symbolism is is simple to use but must be believed and the faith put behind it must be absolute. Otherwise the symbol has no power.

Academic Theories and Schools of Thought


LITERARY THEORY
As the American writer Richard Bach said:

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are."

Storytelling and poetry are powerful voices for love but they are not our voices unless we write them. We can however use the imagery to apply meaning to our emotions. We can identify with themes or feelings that we read and see the same reflected in our relationships. This is the power stories have over unifying a concept of love on a universal level - anyone can read the work and interpret the images their own way and apply it to their own unique experience. These unique experiences have a immeasurable range of circumstances that will not give use any specific result, but we can use this data to define a universal idea of what constitutes love. Or what constitutes a soulmate. Again, these ideas are subjective and open to interpretation.

IN SCIENCE
In science, each person is given free energy of formation and if bonded, produce a dihumanide molecule which determines if the bond is thermodynamically permissible. The greater the negative free energy change of the pairing, the more likely the pair can be considered soulmates. This seems unrealistic to count on so we need to turn to neuroscience.

There are specific chemical responses in the brain signifying factors of a romantic connection. These chemicals are released at certain stages in the process. They start by identifying attraction and lust, then help to differentiate between a hook up and possible future, then help us recognize infatuation, can be counted on as a measurable method for defining obsession or even unrequited love. Finally, the key indicator are the chemicals released that signify bonding - this can be relied on to recognize love and the eternal long lasting kind of love. The key chemicals accepted as an indicator of bonding are oxytocin and vasopressin. Despite popular opinion that says they indicate love, they can only signify that a bond exists. No test can be absolute when determining the emotion of love. That said, there is no difference in the brain that indicates the bond is a soulmate kind of bond for a romantic partner or a bond that you have for your child or an affinity for your dog. This is science giving you something to quantify or measure but it’s really open to debate what exac it’s measuring.

EXAMPLES OF CHEMICAL REACTIONS
Like the moon — a trigger of its own success legendary form of madness — love has its phases.

​CHEMICAL STAGES
Falling in love releases dopamine, the neurotransmitter responsible for that intense feeling of reward and pleasure. The dopamine rush is experienced like a thrill, creating an intense experience like a craving. This is why someone might sit and think about someone constantly. It lights up areas of the brain that are similarly light up as an addiction. Couple that with a drop in levels of serotonin — which adds a dash of obsession — and you have the crazy, pleasing, stupefied, urgent love of infatuation.

You might find that you get butterflies every time you think about each other. Thanks to norepinephrine, which is similar to adrenaline, falling in love causes that feeling of excitement and that racing in your heart. The most exciting thing in the world is talking to each other (and seeing each other, which comes later) when you're in the early stages of the relationship. Falling in love and finding your soulmate may give you butterflies in your stomach, but it's your brain that's ultimately doing most of the reacting.

​BONDING
Once you've found your soulmate, the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin are released, and they enhance feelings of contentment, security, and attachment. Oxytocin is a nice feeling because it's associated with trust, safety, bonding, and intimacy. It’s a calmer, more mature form of love. As time goes on and you become more secure in a relationship, cortisol decreases, and people tend to relax more. During the first love-year, serotonin levels gradually return to normal, and the “stupid” and “obsessive” aspects of the condition moderate. Even though most people become less 'oogly-googly' over time, they are also less up-and-down emotionally when the relationship is stable and enduring.

MEASURING REACTIONS
There are no specific human genes for “relationship compatibility.” Instead, we can look at genes that may be related to biological and psychological attraction. For example, there are three genes involved with the immune system – the human leukocyte antigen complex – that may be linked to our sense of attraction through smell and taste. Smell is one of the more powerful senses. Studies show that people who are dissimilar with respect to these three genes are more likely to be attracted to each other. This mechanism allows us to literally sniff out our soulmates. It will be interesting to note your physical reactions upon meeting. If you sniff each other and feel a surge of happiness or contentment then dopamine and oxytocin have risen and this theory confirms your status as soulmates.

Elements of a Soulmate

This section is an example of how we can use this kind of data in a way to suggest a universal theory based on commonly accepted interpretations. The data won’t reflect any scientific results to certify it as fact, but it can be used to apply meaning to your own experience when you identify with any of the points. There is no way to determine the source that created these points just like any list that contains any interpretation. If you want to quantify a point of view, look for surveys of actual people for a way to mathematically weigh value and you can make a statistical determination that can empower your faith.

​There are specific qualities that suggest a soulmate connection exists.

It's something inside. Describing how a soulmate makes you feel is difficult. It's a tenacious, profound and lingering emotion which no words can encompass.

Flashbacks. If your partner is your soulmate, chances are he or she has been present in your past lives. Soulmates often choose to come back together during the same lifetime and scope each other out in the big world. You might suddenly and briefly experience flashbacks of your soulmate. You might even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in a different setting.

You just get each other. Ever met two people who finish each other's sentences? Some people call that spending too much time together, but it's called a soulmate connection.

You fall in love with his (or her) flaws. No relationship is perfect, and even soulmate relationships will experience ups and downs. Still, that bond will be much harder to break. Soulmates have an easier time of accepting, even learning to love, each other's imperfections. Your relationship is more likely to be a soulmate match if you both love each other exactly as you each are, accepting both the great and awful tendencies we all have.

It's intense. A soulmate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships, in both good and sometimes bad ways. The most important thing is that, even during negative episodes, you're focused on resolving the problem and can see beyond the bad moment.

You two against the world. Soulmates often see their relationship as "us against the world." They feel so linked together that they're ready and willing to take on any feat of life, so long as they have their soulmate by their side. Soulmate relationships are founded on compromise and unity above all else.

You're mentally inseparable. Soulmates often have a mental connection similar to twins. They might pick up the phone to call each other at the exact same time. Though life may keep you apart at times, your minds will always be in tune if you are soulmates.

You feel secure and protected. He or she should always make you feel secure and protected. Your soulmate will make you feel like you have a guardian angel by your side. A person who plays on your insecurities, whether consciously or subconsciously, is not your soulmate.

You can't imagine your life without him (or her). A soulmate is not someone you can walk away from that easily. It is someone you can't imagine being without, a person you believe is worth sticking with and fighting for.

“A soul mate is not found. A soul mate is recognized.”
Vironika Tugaleva
NEXT
A Cosmic Roadmap for the Gods at the Wheel
How Do the Gods Influence Soulmates? A creative interpretation.
THE STORY OF SOULMATES
Seeking the Truth to the Story of Soulmates
A Fleeting Moment in the Construct of Time
Forever in an Infinite Cycle of Eternity
Spinning the Hands of Fate in a Destiny of Love
The Ties That Bind Two Souls
​A Cosmic Roadmap for the Gods at the Wheel
An Answer to the Story of Soulmates

​BONUS:
REFERENCE GUIDE TO THE MYTHOLOGY USED IN THIS FEATURE
A BEAUTIFUL WORD ... a vocabulary site for logophiles, writers and word lovers that is part of
A SERIES OF BEAUTIFUL WORDS
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